Obsessed...

Anyone who knows me knows that i can become a little... well... obsessed!  Currently I am obsessed with the movie Just Go With It.  I have seen it three times!  Each time i have seen it is makes me laugh! It is your basic romantic comedy... which is my favorite movie type! But more than that, i love the story line!  It is the kind of romance I have been dreaming of... the moment when a friend realizes that there is more to the relationship than just friendship... the ability of a man to be completely honest in the presence of a female (even though it doesnt start out that way)... a relationship built around closeness and lots of humor!  I am still holding out for a man of my very own... one who is nice, funny, concerned about making me happy, and i guess this movie makes me feel like there is still an ounce of hope left in the world that it might come true!

ruled by guilt!

I hate that i am an individual ruled by guilt!  Everyone knows they can convince me to do anything by making me feel guilty.  I live my life full of good intentions that dont always pan out. I try to please those around me and usually i displease myself in the process.  I work so hard to please people and i hardly hear a thanks, but the moment i mess up i hear about it.  I hate that messages are always preached about how we are all sinners and are not perfect.  If this is true than why is it that people expect perfection! if we are told we cant be perfect by the scriptures than why is it constantly demanded from us on a day by day situation?  I have been trying to change and start acting human, but as soon as i do i feel like i am being thrown to the lions... therefore i will eternally be ruled by guilt and strive to be perfect.... and die knowing i strove for perfection!

Day 1

Day 1- i have been very opposed to the idea of a blog. However, it seems like a great way to say all those things that need to be said when there is no one to listen.  So here is the first day of clearing my mind.  I have recently been trying to figure out what i am doing with my life.  For the past 7 years i have been teaching at a really great school and molding the minds of some amazing kids.  I have bought a house, am about to pay off my car, but it seems like there is something more than this comfortable setting i have wedged myself into.  Everything has become routine and dull.  Yet, as the time goes past, i cannot decide what would make my life more exciting.  I have thought of the obvious like traveling to see the world, but i do not have funds to fund that kind of an excursion!  So, now i ponder daily about what my next step will be.  I have accomplished most of my childhood goals with the exception of marriage and seeing the wonders of the world.  Now i have to make new goals... but what to go for? My job is easy, my house is nice, but something is lacking! So here is my log of figuring out what to do next... day 1.